Daddy's Love

Daddy’s Love

 It was there in the beginning, before I could even see
when through my mother’s belly, you gently felt for me.
You whispered, through the darkness, the promises you’d keep.
Your voice a distant murmur that calmed my unborn sleep.

It was seen on my birth day, when you first held me in your arms
Cradled there. Protected. Safe from this world’s harms.
With tears and trembling kisses your lips touched to my nose
You marveled at the perfectness of my tiny hands and toes.

And as I grew, so many times, I’d reach, and it’d be there
To smile away my boo boos, or wipe away a tear
You’d wrap your arms around me , and with a big hug or squeeze
You’d set me back upon my feet, another day to seize.

Oh I was not a perfect child, and sometimes your hand was hard
I tested all the boundaries, and often went too far
But even when I misbehaved and you’d paddle my behind
Deep down I knew your heavy hand was of the love-filled kind

In my teens and early twenties, I fought my need for you.
“I could do it by myself”! , “I knew just what to do”!
You let me go. You cheered me on. You let me find my way.
But IT was always with me, no matter where I’d stray.

On the day of my wedding , when together we walked the aisle
it was written on your face and was in your tear-stained smile.
Our last walk together, I didn’t know that’s what it’d be.
Our last private moment, you, your love, and me.

You’ve been gone so long now, but your love has stayed behind
It lives on forever. Memories of it fill my mind.
I know that it was real. I know that it was true.
But Daddy, I sometimes wonder, Did you know I loved you too?


Written in September, 2011.  Thinking about him a lot lately. 

I'm officially an artist.

Ha ha ha.  I've never called myself an artist.  I'm a crafter.  All my life I've enjoyed creating things and there were always craft projects ongoing. The things I've created have always been artsy... but, I never called myself an artist.

This year I've decided to take my crafty side a little more seriously and as I previously posted, I actually was fortunate enough to participate in an art exhibit in Febuary.  This was an honor.  I was one of 24 individuals exhibiting and the show was a month long show in one of our local coffee shops.  I had four pieces of collage in the show, a dog portrait called "red rascal", two Mocko Jumbie portraits; "who dat" and "Jumbie Knight", and a hand made paper palm tree landscape.  Just prior to opening night, with the show hung but not yet officially open, the shop owner informed me that the dog portrait had sold.  Woohoo!  That was exciting and so validating.  I was super excited.  Opening night itself was a thrill as many of my friends were coming to see it.  It was scary and fun at the same time.  Imagine my delight and amazement when the remaining three pieces of art sold on opening night!   I was beside myself.  OMG... somebody liked my work.  It was worth buying.  I was walking on clouds for a few days.

The people who purchased the pieces were kind enough to allow them to stay in the show for the month.  I recieved many complements from friends and was requested to do more pieces for the show.  I took them another dog portrait ; "True Love".  By show closing it had sold too.  

The positive feedback from everyone motivated me to work on some additional pieces.   I'm kind of slow, so three months later.. (its May now)... I am just ready to take these four new pieces down to the shop gallery for display and hopeful sale.  There are two dog portraits; "Big Boy" and "Party Girl",  a long piece of three mocko jumbies called "The Three of We"; and a mermaid piece titled "Follow Me".  All are charming if I do say so myself. LOL.

It was while trying to get the mermaid piece framed that I first called myself an artist.  I got a giggle out of it as a lady at the shop was thanking me for helping her with some frame design decisions and asked me "Are you an artist?".  I hesitated for only just a minute and then answered yes.

I guess I am officially an artist now. :)

Red "Rascal" sells!

Woo hoo!  I am SO SO SO excited. Today I sold my first mixed media collage piece!  That is so amazing.  I was so nervous about showing the pieces... were they good enough?  They were!  They look great in among the fantastic art of all the other artists on display and I am proud proud proud.  The show opens tomorrow but already one of my four pieces has sold.  I knew it would be the cute doggy that sold first, he is just so fun and whimsical and makes you smile.  I hope he is going to a good home and will be loved and cherished and smiled at often.    YAY!  Can't wait for the show opening and the rest of the month to see how it goes.  I'm hoping all of the artists get lots of good sales!  Meanwhile, I'm totally motivated again to get some more art done. 

My Valentine

Love.  Valentines.  Friendship.  Reminding the ones you love that you love them.  How great is that.  As a child I'm sure that I did all the typical elementary school stuff of exchanging valentines with friends, I can even vaguely remember all the crazy little valentines and how excited I would be to get a valentine from a special friends.  As a teen and young adult in the "dating" scene, Valentines day was all about the "boyfriend".  Getting him a valentine, getting one from him.  Awwww... love.  But... as an adult , married longtime, somehow over the years the charm of valentines day kinda got lost.  But, thinking about it now, and about how I feel about all the other card-giving holidays on the calendar, I've decided that Valentines Day should be the day to show the people who are important in your life how much they mean to you.  Well not show really... communicate.  Why not tell that special child that you think they are amazing... by giving them a little Valentine.  Why not tell that , or those, best friends, that are there for you everyday... that you are so happy that they have chosen to be your friend.... by giving them a little valentine.  Valentines Day is a great day to tell your parents that you love them.  Its an excellent time to reach out to your family members and say..."you are in my heart".    Hey... I don't work for any card companies... but... I think I'm going to personally make an effort to create some special valentines to send out to the people I love. :)  I think this year I'm going to start making Valentines Day have some of that fun appeal that I felt as a kid... choosing just the right valentine for each friend.   It's almost February.  Time to think about your valentine.

Happy New Year

Welcome Back!  While you were away a lot has happened.  The last year left.  The new year has begun.  What will it bring?  What will we make of it?   How will it surprise us?   There are no answers, only hopes and dreams and the promise of tomorrows.  We are truly each on our own journey and the twists and turns and paths we take are of our own choosing.  Things will happen that we can not control.  Challenges will cause us to re-think our strategies.  Opportunities will present themselves and we will decide what to do with them.    And in the end, the journey will be (have been?) uniquely ours. 

And so, I find myself wondering today about my journey.  There are so many paths before me and I find my head spinning with all the possibilities.  There are so many things I want to do.  So many things I want to be.  So many things I want to feel.  So many things I want to see.  I am greedy.  I want them all.  But I must choose.  I must make decisions.  I must be strong and focus on that which is most precious to me and which will allow me to become the best person that I can be.   I am up to the challenge.  I will make 2011 a year that I can look back on and be proud of.  I will make choices that are good for me and good for those around me that I love.   I will take each day individually and attempt to greet it with optimism and enthusiasm, and if it does not meet my expectations I will know that tomorrow will be another opportunity.   There are 11 more months of tomorrows waiting for me.... where will I be when they are my yesterdays... that is the fun of welcoming in a new year.  The possibilities and promises of 2011 are in front of me.  Yay for them!

Bring it on 2011... I'm ready for ya!

Multiple Choices

I lie wide awake in the darkness.  My body rests, but my mind races. So many questions and so many possible answers.  It’s like a giant multiple choice test,  and I hurry to make the proper matches.  My body moves to find a more comfortable position.  The questions turn to thoughts and the thoughts pour out and fall like raindrops into a stream of semi-consciousness where they spread out in hundreds of directions.  I jump easily from one to another until the stream finally slows and I float happily with a single thought on my way to the land of dreams.  My arm falls asleep and my body must move again in order to stop the tingling.  The questions form anew and I lie awake again in the darkness.  My body moves toward sleep but my mind continues to wander in search of a thought that will take me to dreamland.  I am almost there and yet I am watching from afar.  I see the cycle.  I’m caught in it and I can not escape.   I wonder if I will remember this in the morning.   These thoughts are keeping me from my goal but I know if I do not write them down they will be forgotten.    My body resists, it does not want to awaken.  I lie, wide awake again, in the darkness. 

Billy

So, I joined a writing club.  Kinda fun.   They meet every Monday and anyone who wants to can bring something that they are writing and share.  The objective is supportive criticism and just a chance to get feedback from others.  I find it encouraging and motivating. 

Last week was my first time to attend so, not wanting to go empty handed, I took the poem 'Time of your Life' with me.   It was pretty well recieved.  Everyone else was writing stories though.  So this week I decided to try to write a story.  This is the first story I've written in years and it was a lot of fun to write.  I hope you enjoy it.   There will be more to come.

Billy


You could normally find him at the corner of Company Street and Market, sleeping fitfully in the doorway of the old theater, or, hanging out at The Lighthouse Missionary hoping for a hearty meal. Sometimes you’d see him around town. No one knew when he arrived, where he came from, or any details about his past. Actually, no one even knew his real name, everyone just called him Billy. He was one of Christiansted’s many homeless.

Even on a tropical island, living on the streets can be pretty challenging. Food wasn’t so much an issue because the people at The Lighthouse were pretty generous. He might not get a meal every day, but he ate regularly enough. The real challenge was to not get sick and to not get hurt. Many of the others on the street were sick already and some of them were pretty aggressive and angry. Fights would break out sometimes for no reason at all. There were many other dangers too. It was imperative to always be constantly aware and to trust no one. Billy learned early that is was best to keep a low profile and stay in the background.

It wasn’t that hard. Billy was almost invisible anyway. Most people would walk right past him, actually almost stepping over him, without even acknowledging his existence. Oh, they saw him; they just preferred to act as if they didn’t. If he tried to approach them, they’d cross the street to get out of his way or angrily tell him to stay back. He was bigger than average and black as black can be. He was filthy dirty. He looked frightening. Most people took one look at his ragged coat and disheveled appearance and kept as far away as possible. Some even threatened him. Therefore, as a general rule, Billy tried to stay clear of ‘most people’.

It’s a lonely life being homeless. Billy was social by nature, and this solitary life was getting harder every day. He hadn’t chosen to live on the streets, he’d just wound up there. He didn’t even know how it had happened. Sometimes Billy dreamed about what it might be like to have a home. He especially liked the idea of having and being someone’s friend; someone to love and to be loved by. That seemed pretty unlikely. His future seemed hopeless. You could tell by the way he walked that Billy was losing his will to live.

One Thursday everything changed for Billy. He was snoozing under the Flamboyant tree at Holy Cross Church. He was feeling particularly down and depressed and he wasn’t paying any attention to his surroundings. He didn’t notice the man until he had already sat down on the nearby bench. The man looked right at Billy. He looked right past the mangy coat and built up dirt. He paid no attention to Billy’s size or appearance. He looked right into Billy’s eyes. Billy looked bravely back. Reflected there they each saw themselves. They saw loneliness and pain and the need for a friend. They knew immediately that they were meant for each other. Billy got up, padded over to the man’s side and laid his head in Mister’s lap. Mister reached down and stroked Billy’s ears. He spoke softly; “You’re a good dog, Billy. I think I'll take you home with me. “

Mister and Billy have been best friends, inseparable, ever since.